Life with Jonathan my autistic child can be very stressful. My wife Roselind and I are both working full time and a major contribution to our stress is that we have too little time to do too many things. This is a very common problem faced by families, not only families with autistic children. We need to pick up our kids, sent them to various activities like tuition, dance classes, swimming, extra-curricular activities, do our marketing, walk the dog, do the laundry, prepare the meals and the list goes on. Day in and day out, our lives are filled a myriad of things to do. It is in this busyness that our stress levels start to increase.
To reduce our stress level, we need to review the activities that we are engaged in daily. These daily activities have become part of our routine and eventually we embark on these activities out of habit. I would like to propose a simple solution S.T.O.P. to help us review our daily activities.
S is for stop: We are creatures of habit and tend to do the same activities day in day out. Once our routine is established, we function in an “automatic” mode performing activities without thinking. Therefore once in a while, we need to stop in our tracks and take time to reflect on the activities that we engage in.
T is for think: Examine our daily activities carefully. What is the purpose of these activities? Are these activities bringing us closer or further away from your goals. What is the impact of doing these activities? What is the consequence of not doing the activity.
O is for Option: Examine what options you can take by asking the following questions:
Do I need to reduce or increase these activities?
Do I need to eliminate these activities all together?
Can I perform these activities in a more efficient manner?
Do I need to come out with new activities to perform?
P is for Proceed: After we have examined all our options, we are able to prioritize our activities. Proceed only with activities that are beneficial and contribute to our goals.
Once you have eliminated all the unnecessary activities, you will find that life can be less stressful. You may even have time to smell the roses once in a while. You can then take life one day at a time and enjoy your life as each day unfolds. I end this article with a poem which I have written and hope that we will all have the time to engage in activities that refresh and invigorate us. I try where possible to include my autistic child in such activities.
The Miracles Of A New Day
The rising of a new day
The morning dew glistening in the sunlight
Leaves swaying gently in the breeze
The sound of waves rhythmically hitting against the rocks
Butterflies fluttering around blooming flowers
The moon glowing in mighty splendour
These are the natural miracles that happen with each passing day
A stroll in the forest
A swim in the river
A jog in the park
A job well done
A kind act
A supportive word
A gentle touch
A child’s playful laughter
A baby’s warm smile
A friend’s concern
These are the miracles that you can create with each passing day.
All these are the miracles of each passing day.
If we only take the time, we may even experience one today.
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